I just spent the last hour or so on the phone with various people from various credit agencies. Guess who’s the newest (ok, probably not newest, but you know what I mean) victim of identity theft / credit fraud?

This morning someone from JCPenney called to verify some info on an account, but they woke me up so I wasn’t as coherant as I should have been. They called and asked for "Tiffany X" and I told them noone by that name lived here, then he said he was from JCPenneys and he needed to verify info. I told them my name was Taffi and I hadn’t opened any accounts, and that was that. The caller ID only showed up as "unknown number" or "unavailable" so I didn’t think much of it.

Then a while ago, someone from TN called and DH answered it. (For a fleeting second I thought maybe Amber was calling me! LOL) I guess the lady asked for "Taffany" and DH said, my wife’s name is Taffi, can I help you? Turns out it was a lady from Home Depot calling to verify info for a new account someone had set up… DH got me on the line and it turns out that accounts were opened in my name (ok, the names were either Tiffany or Taffany, lol, but had my SSN, the correct address, correct phone #) at Home Depot, Zales and Sears, with a total amount of about $4500 charged, yesterday and today. In California. We got the ones for Zales and Home Depot closed, she passed me along to a guy from Sears who closed that one, then he passed me along to a lady from Citibank, who helped me with a lady at Trans Union credit agency. We went through everything that had been opened or any time my credit had been pulled in the past twelve months. Luckily, the only things that showed up were the fraudulent ones (and they were taken care of) and one for Old Navy from January. Sometimes never using your credit and hardly ever shopping is a good thing, LOL. So they’ve put a fraud alert on my credit that will stay on for seven years, and any time someone tries to open anything in my name the credit agency will call me and ask for my password and permission to extend credit. I called back JCPenney after this and verified that there was no account in my name (it showed in their records that after I denied it this morning, the account was not activated). Tomorrow I will be calling the city police (on the advice of the Citibank lady) to inform them of identity theft and ask them to put my info in some Consumer Sentinel Databank thing… sigh.

I am so grateful they caught it so quickly, of course, but still… what a pain in the patootie!

But, at least we shouldn’t have to pay anything. Even the 7-year alert is free.

However, we cannot figure out how on earth anyone got our info. We are so careful with things - any junk mail with our names, etc gets shredded. The birthdate was wrong - that’s the only thing wrong. Oh - and the kicker? The reason the Home Depot lady called was to double check our phone number - the Zales account was off by one number from the Home Depot one - and she was having a slow night and noticed it, and thought she’d call to see which one was right, so they’d have the right info!

Sweet Girl just came up and told me she’d cooked Christmas dinner for me in her new oven.

She even covered it with one of those "fancy dinner cover things."

What is it?

Why, roast duck, of course. Yummy.

Aaaahhh, Sweet Girl. How dull my life would be without you.

My sister gave Sweet Girl a cool necklace for Christmas - it came with an empty pendant and a pickled mollusk in a can. Open the can, shuck open the oyster and find a pearl to put in the pendant. Sweet Girl loves it. (She got a white pearl, by the way.) I think my favorite part was the insert - very beautifully typeset, with gorgeous photos. I just don’t get the feeling that English was the native tongue of whoever wrote the ad copy, which describes the magical powers of pearls and how hard it is to find them…

"Only the brave youth can dived into the deeper sea, to search for the magic mussels, containing the colorful pearl. To weather the danger of life, find it fortunately…. Don’t you want the pure pearl to witness your pure love? Don’t you want to start a legend and romantic love? Why are you hesitating for? At present, the magic pearl has been sealed in a pot. It becomes a modern gift with a new appearance. Presenting before you, not only a fortunate will be given to you, but also is a trend of fashion."

The instructions aren’t as bad, but I like the last sentence:

"1 - Make a wish, then open the sealed pot. 2 - Cut open the mussel, and take out the pearl carefully. 3 - Take out the necklace, and open the pendant of the necklace. 4 - Put the pearl in it, wearing the bliss."

I think this part is good, too…

"Forming naturally, the Love Pearl is pure and premiere, it takes three or five years in the mother mussel, till its diameter reaches 6.5-7.5mm. Among hundreds of mussel, only one can meet the severe standards of size, roundness, luster. Till now, we almost have found the two same Love Pearl."

Love Pearl: The new annotation of the Classical Romanticism. That’s what the box said, anyway.

Sorry it’s been a while. Gimme a break, it’s December - tell me who isn’t running in circles, trying to get everything done? I promise to catch up on the important things, like Kiddo turning 16. () But first… a quick funny to get us through the week.

A few days ago, DH and I went to Sam’s Club to pick up some items. As you enter the store, there is a dizzying array of large-screen TVs on display, always showing some random thing… this time, it happened to be Wolfgang Puck, showing how to make some yummy-looking appetizer. We paused and DH said, "Man, those look great!" I nodded in agreement and said "Yeah, and they look easy, too. I bet I could make something like that."

DH gave me this look:

Then he said, "I meant the TVs."

In case you’ve never spent more than five minutes with the opposite sex, here’s today’s news flash: men are really different from women.

Last night, I was sitting at the table, going over today’s calendar, wondering how I was going to fit everything in. Let’s see… Munchkin has an orthodontist appointment at 8:40. Visiting teachers are coming at 9:30. Hmm, somehow I don’t think I’m going to fit in volunteering at the school from 8-11… need to remember to email Mrs. B. Lunch, then PTO meeting at 2:45, make sure DH meets Sweet Girl at the bus at 3:10. Pick up Munchkin and his friend from wrestling practice at 6… no, wait, it’s Mrs. W’s week for carpool pickup. Good, since we have tithing settlement at 6:45. Oh yeah, dinner. OK, so that’s Tuesday… the rest of the week is filled with similar gotta-do’s, such as plan Kiddo’s birthday party and send out the invites, plus some Primary stuff and mailing the Christmas cards; if I add in the wanna-do’s like make cool cutout Christmas cookies, painting this year’s Christmas ornaments, and making a sign for Little Man’s bedroom door (there was a meltdown today when Sweet Girl informed him he had to stay out of her room - of course it’s just her room, see her name on the door? - never mind the fact that they both sleep in there), I quickly feel like curling up in a fetal position and avoiding it all. Anyhoo….

Last night I was mostly just talking out loud, looking at my calendar, making my to-do list. DH walked by and listened, nodded, and stopped to rub my shoulders.

Then he said, "Yeah, this time of year sure gets busy with stuff."

Pause.

"Yeah. I think tomorrow I’ll make a pie."

Um. OK.