This is freaking bad for you. Therefore, it’s delicious. Just don’t blame me when you fail your cholesterol test.

(Not your average, cream-of-mushroom based) Hamburger Stroganoff

6 ounces fresh sliced mushrooms
1 onion, chopped
1/4 cup butter, divided
2 pounds lean ground beef
4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 cups beef broth
2 tablespoons worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon mustard
1 1/2 cups sour cream
1 12-ounce package egg noodles, cooked and drained
bread crumbs
parmesan cheese

Saute mushrooms and onions in 2 tablespoons butter until soft; remove from pan. Add additional butter to pan, letting it melt; add ground beef and cook thoroughly. Add flour and salt; stir well. Add beef broth, stirring well, and cook until mixture is slightly thickened. Add mushrooms and onions, seasonings, then sour cream. Heat to simmer, but do not boil. Pour over egg noodles (9x13 dish works great); sprinkle with bread crumbs and parmesan cheese. Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Serve with green salad and whole grain rolls if you want to try to redeem yourself and/or pretend you’re serving a healthy meal.

Mmmmmmmmmm.

Now, I know that imagination is a good, healthy thing in preschoolers. But at what point do I worry about the contents of the imagination?

Our living room is also our play room. The floor is often a forest (along with pillow trees), a great sea (with book icebergs dotting the water), or a circus arena (with couch trampolines). (Oh, and as you might imagine, that last one isn’t one of my favorite ‘make believes’.)

It is also set off from the dining room by a step, which makes a nice little ledge for Little Man to play with his cars. There are little metal cars lined up along that step constantly.

This morning was no exception. I came in and saw Little Man with several dozen of those blasted little cars lined up along the ledge, and half-heartedly listened while he talked with them, playing some sort of demolition derby as he caused crash after crash. My ears did perk up, however, when I realized that before he tossed each car off the ledge onto the living room floor, he told each car, "Sweep wif da fishies! Sweep wif da fishies! Sweep wif da fishies!" (Said in a regular voice, followed by "Aaah, aah, I can’t swim…" in a high voice.) "Too bad! Sweep wif da fishies!"

Tonight our Cub Scout troop had their Blue and Gold banquet. Being the Primary counselor over the Cubs, I was invited to attend (well, I also was invited to help set up tables, decorate, shop, do the centerpieces, and make a cobbler) along with my family. Sweet Girl and Little Man had a good time (DH and the older boys came for a short while, but had to leave soon after it started to attend a different meeting) and even helped clean up at the end of the evening.

During clean up, one of the den leaders came over with a blue balloon and a gold balloon, and said, "You guys were such good helpers tonight, you’ve earned a balloon!" Of course they were thrilled and ran around with them tied to their wrists for the remainder of our evening.

After a while, Little Man came running by, a balloon on each wrist, waving his arms. I assumed he was just having a good time watching them move.

That is, until he came up and said in all seriousness, "Mommy, I’m having difficoatee fwying. Can you give me fwying wessons?"

On Tuesday and Friday mornings I go volunteer at Sweet Girl’s school, helping the kindergarten teacher where she started out the school year. The kids in the class remember Sweet Girl, and occasionally ask about her, but most of the time it’s no big deal - I’m just another mom that comes in to help. (In this case, I’m one of two moms, which is why I stayed with this class - not enough parental involvement.)

Anyway… the kids get my attention through a variety of ways. Most of the kids just call me Taffi, while some call me Miss Taffi. Some of them call me Mrs. [Last Name]. But my new favorite has to be one I heard today. A little boy came up, and while holding up his foot, asked, "Will you tie my shoe for me, Mrs. Sweet Girl’s Mom?"

DH’s parent’s home is about a mile from his grandfather’s home. His grandpa died several years ago, but his dad still owns the house; nothing has changed, really, since Grandpa lived there. A couple years ago we stayed there for Thanksgiving weekend. It’s an interesting little house, but that’s a story for another entry. Anyway… the kitchen is like a time capsule from the late ’50s - including cookbooks. I was loving those books and we ended up bringing a few things home to scan. (I love history, I love reading cookbooks - finding old cookbooks to read was like hitting a jackpot.) These books are a riot. I think my favorite was the Jello cookbook. Seriously people, some things are just not meant to be encapsulated in gelatin.

While I wasn’t around for part of the time period covered in these books, some of these recipes did ring some bells for me - and I’m sure they might dig up a few memories for you, too. I want to share some of my favorites here… (Of course, by ‘favorites’ I don’t mean things I used to eat… just ones that really, ah, caught my eye.)

Let’s start with a 1970s Albertson’s brochure… sorry for the glare.

If you can’t quite make it out, it reads "How to Make the Most Out of the Least Expensive Cuts of Meat." Mmmm. It features good ol’ standbys…

… such as Cheeseburger Puffs -  Beef, Sausage and Lima Bake - Tater Gem Casserole - Beef Noodle Casserole - and, of course, Deluxe Meat Loaf. These aren’t so bad. It’s the end of the booklet where things get interesting…

This is the "Valuable Varieties in Meat" section. The last few words scare me - "more mealtime ADVENTURE for you and your family." Call me bland, but I’m not into much adventure at meal time - especially when it’s in the form of…

Sweet-Sour Hearts or Spicy Beef Tongue. Excuse me while I shudder violently.

OK, I think I’m done repressing the urge to hurl.

Let’s move on to something a little more pleasant, shall we? How about what appears to be a grange cookbook from the mid 1930s? I can only guess, since the covers have long been gone, and I’m going mostly by the ads inside. Speaking of ads…

"Hey kids, guess what’s for breakfast?"

"Yay! Laxative Cereal AGAIN!"

I’ll refrain from any crappy jokes.

Whoops.

Moving on… also in the 30s book were some cute Household Hints.

 

I mean, smiling liquids and sugary carrots to remind you of springtime… who can read that and not feel all warm and nostalgic? Oh yeah, probably people that are still recovering from eating Dina-Mite Laxative Cereal Mush. But there were some interesting recipes in there too… I kinda want to try this one:

Mmmmm. Burnt Leather Cake. I just can’t see why this isn’t popular any more!

OK. I’ve saved the best for last. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present…

Jello Gone Horribly Wrong.

This is made with your choice of Lemon-Lime, Mixed Vegetables or Celery flavored Jello.

Yes, I said Mixed Vegetables or Celery Jello. Excuse me while I shudder again.

There was a funny email going around a while ago - it was an excerpt from a blog - showing awful photos from the 70s. One was of a father and daughter, and the photo had suffered miscoloration over the years to be an eye-popping orangy-yellow. The text under the photo was, "It’s not a bad pic - the 70s really were that yellow." I have more proof here.

"My jello’s so bright, I gotta wear shades."

Ever fixed a nice big salad for dinner, then decide it just needed a little something? Well, no need to bother with those pesky salad dressing mixes… fix up a nice batch of barbecue salad instead! 

It’s kind of hard to read - but this one is Lemon-Lime or Lemon jello, boiling water, tomato sauce, vinegar and salt and pepper. Pour into molds, chill until firm, and unmold on crisp greens. Not quite festive enough? The next page has some ideas of possible additions - mayonnaise, cottage cheese, softened cream cheese, stuffed olives, veggies, shrimp, crab and tuna. Excuse me - yes, it’s shuddering time again.

Oh, and speaking of tuna. Tuna and jello should never, ever meet.

Someone never told that to the people at Jello.

I wish I could say the above recipe was the only tuna-in-lime-jello one in there. But, sadly, no… a few pages later, there is another travesty.

It seems to me that tuna could stay fresh without the lime jello… but that’s just me.

And I’m sorry, but…

The words "tuna", "jello" and "creamy" have no business being used to describe the same food-type item.

I need to go shudder violently now… I may take a while.